Non-Jews are for practice
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize