I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I FOUND THE LEGS
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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