she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
