dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I wish you could order shots online.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
