So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
