i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
