so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
We have started to decorate penises.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize