so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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