Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Can Purell be used as lube?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
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