So drunk, too bad you don't want this
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
