i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
