he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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