I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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