I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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