I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
OPIZZABONMYDICK
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize