You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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