I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
