I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
