am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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