Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
