I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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