Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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