It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
