Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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