It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
