also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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