marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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