Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Randomize
