Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
