I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Randomize
