I'm drive I can fine osifer
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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