he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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