We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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