I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
