I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
