hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
