just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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