I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
