Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize