We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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