K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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