I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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