angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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