I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
