Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I enjoy the company of your penis
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
