In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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