yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I wish you could order shots online.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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