I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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