They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
