The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
