i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
