I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
