I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
