Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
