don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
the liver wants what the liver wants
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
