I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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