FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
