i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
