Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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