I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize