His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I got inside last night via doggy door
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
