Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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