I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
