She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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