I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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