why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
